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How To ‘Politely’ Decline Food

November 22, 2016 2 Comments

say-no-to-food-pushers

 

I’m posting today’s blog with Thanksgiving in mind – I’ve seen so many forum posts this week from bariatric patients (early and late post-ops as well as those on pre-op regimes) worried about the food onslaught that’s coming in the next few days days. It is however just as pertinent at other times of the year and especially with Christmas on the horizon. Here’s some sage advice and tips for survival …

 

Girl refuse to eat  pie. Isolated.

 

GUEST POST: I thought the week before Thanksgiving would be just the time to revisit how to decline foods without hurting someones feelings.

 

This is SUCH a delicate subject. Truth be told….it’s not just bariatric surgery patients that deal with this. In fact, society as a whole is in a time of realising food intolerances, allergies and issues. More people than ever are aware of how food poorly interacts with them and the need to be in control of what’s on their plate.

So a FOOD focused holiday like Thanksgiving is hard on a lot of people.

It’s still a wonderful holiday that I love and look forward to every year. Because it’s time off work, time with family and the start of the holiday season!

Let’s dive into some of the more *polite* ways to handle food issues going into a food-focused holiday.

If you can, talk with the family and/or your hostess in advance.

Try to avoid using phrases like “I’m on a diet” or “I’m going low-carb” as this tends to make them feel judged. If you were about to host a load of people and you’re planning all your high-carb dishes, this can feel offensive. Instead, be as kind as you can by starting with a compliment.

Instead, try something like this…

Thank you so much for hosting! I know so much work goes into having everyone at your home and I would love to know how to help. I do have some food sensitivities I’ll need to focus on this year but the last thing I want is to put any more burden on you. I will bring dishes I can have and plenty to share.

After you’ve broken the ice with compliments and talking about your food sensitivities (instead of your diet) you can offer several different dishes for the hostess to pick from for you to bring.

Avoid saying “what can I bring?” and instead say “I would be happy to bring something. Would you prefer I brought stuffed mushrooms, deviled eggs or sautéed green beans?”

This puts the hostess in the drivers seat (which I would appreciate if it were me) and is also polite of you to offer. You also gave options that you can definitely have so whichever she picks, you’ll be in great shape. And if it’s too late to be planning the menu for this year’s Thanksgiving, try it for Christmas.

Starting with the hostess also allows you get her on your team. She’ll know in advance that you have food sensitivities and will {hopefully} advocate for you when other guests are asking.

Of course, if you’re the one hosting, you get to pick the menu and what items you’ll have for yourself! While the best bet is to have others make the most tempting dishes (tell them you’re hanging up your apron and passing on the recipe to them!) BUT if you are making dishes you need to avoid, save parts of the recipe you know you can have like the broccoli or green beans in the casserole.

Your biggest hurdle of all comes on the big day. You likely have an idea of which aunt or which sister is going to make a scene of you not wanting to eat her _________(fill in the blank).

My best advice in staying polite?

Always try and divert the attention away to something else.

It’s like I do with my 11 month old. Oh, you’re fussy about something? Let’s distract you and re-direct your attention to something else! Blocks! Balls! Doggy!

Seriously. If your family member is so concerned about what you aren’t eating, they need to focus their attention on something else. Stay polite with compliments such as…

It looks delicious! Doesn’t baking this time of year get you excited for the holiday season! I can’t wait to get my holiday soaps from Bath and Body Works.

Distract. Re-direct.

Didn’t work?

I’ve already filled up which is such a shame because it smells wonderful! You’ve always been such a good cook. What else do you like to cook? I’m looking for new ideas.

Even if she lists off foods you can’t eat, act very attentive and interject with recipes you’ve tried lately.

Hopefully, this approach will help you dodge some “she’s on a diet” conversations {which are the worst}. However, if the family members that are giving you the hardest time are the ones closest to you (like the ones that live in your house) you need to have honest, one-on-one conversations with them about how they can help love and support you through this process.

Extended family members need the “distract and re-direct” treatment but if it’s your spouse, mother or even grown child, I suggest a heart-to-heart talk to gain their support.

I’m wishing you all the best this holiday season! May you enjoy the time of rest, family, smells (even if not tastes!) and the feeling of successfully staying on track to meet your goals. Food is awesome. Why else would we have a holiday for it?! But it’s brief. Delayed gratification is HARD but it is worth it. 

Cheering for you on the sidelines,

Steph 🙂

Feature courtesy of foodcoach.me

 

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Tags: christmas, Coping mechanisms, entertaining, food intolerances, overeating, saying 'no', thanksgiving Categories: Uncategorized

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jayne Steer says

    November 22, 2016 at 8:37 am

    I once had a food pusher who just would not give up, so I gave her a very very blunt “I best not eat that, I love it but it doesn’t love me. Often resulting in explosive diarrhoea or projectile vomiting – both of which occur so quickly that I often don’t even have time to get to the bathroom!!! That worked.

  2. CAROL says

    November 22, 2016 at 8:44 am

    Ha! Jayne – that made me laugh out loud this morning! I may have to use this over the coming weeks … C x

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