How To ‘Politely’ Decline Food

 

This is SUCH a delicate subject. Truth be told….it’s not just bariatric surgery patients that deal with this. In fact, society as a whole is in a time of realising food intolerances, allergies and issues. More people than ever are aware of how food poorly interacts with them and the need to be in control of what’s on their plate.

So a FOOD focused holiday like Thanksgiving is hard on a lot of people.

It’s still a wonderful holiday that I love and look forward to every year. Because it’s time off work, time with family and the start of the holiday season!

Let’s dive into some of the more *polite* ways to handle food issues going into a food-focused holiday.

If you can, talk with the family and/or your hostess in advance.

Try to avoid using phrases like “I’m on a diet” or “I’m going low-carb” as this tends to make them feel judged. If you were about to host a load of people and you’re planning all your high-carb dishes, this can feel offensive. Instead, be as kind as you can by starting with a compliment.

Instead, try something like this…

Thank you so much for hosting! I know so much work goes into having everyone at your home and I would love to know how to help. I do have some food sensitivities I’ll need to focus on this year but the last thing I want is to put any more burden on you. I will bring dishes I can have and plenty to share.

After you’ve broken the ice with compliments and talking about your food sensitivities (instead of your diet) you can offer several different dishes for the hostess to pick from for you to bring.

Avoid saying “what can I bring?” and instead say “I would be happy to bring something. Would you prefer I brought stuffed mushrooms, deviled eggs or sautéed green beans?”

This puts the hostess in the drivers seat (which I would appreciate if it were me) and is also polite of you to offer. You also gave options that you can definitely have so whichever she picks, you’ll be in great shape. And if it’s too late to be planning the menu for this year’s Thanksgiving, try it for Christmas.

Starting with the hostess also allows you get her on your team. She’ll know in advance that you have food sensitivities and will {hopefully} advocate for you when other guests are asking.

Of course, if you’re the one hosting, you get to pick the menu and what items you’ll have for yourself! While the best bet is to have others make the most tempting dishes (tell them you’re hanging up your apron and passing on the recipe to them!) BUT if you are making dishes you need to avoid, save parts of the recipe you know you can have like the broccoli or green beans in the casserole.

Your biggest hurdle of all comes on the big day. You likely have an idea of which aunt or which sister is going to make a scene of you not wanting to eat her _________(fill in the blank).

My best advice in staying polite?

Always try and divert the attention away to something else.

It’s like I do with my 11 month old. Oh, you’re fussy about something? Let’s distract you and re-direct your attention to something else! Blocks! Balls! Doggy!

Seriously. If your family member is so concerned about what you aren’t eating, they need to focus their attention on something else. Stay polite with compliments such as…

It looks delicious! Doesn’t baking this time of year get you excited for the holiday season! I can’t wait to get my holiday soaps from Bath and Body Works.

Distract. Re-direct.

Didn’t work?

I’ve already filled up which is such a shame because it smells wonderful! You’ve always been such a good cook. What else do you like to cook? I’m looking for new ideas.

Even if she lists off foods you can’t eat, act very attentive and interject with recipes you’ve tried lately.

Hopefully, this approach will help you dodge some “she’s on a diet” conversations {which are the worst}. However, if the family members that are giving you the hardest time are the ones closest to you (like the ones that live in your house) you need to have honest, one-on-one conversations with them about how they can help love and support you through this process.

Extended family members need the “distract and re-direct” treatment but if it’s your spouse, mother or even grown child, I suggest a heart-to-heart talk to gain their support.

I’m wishing you all the best this holiday season! May you enjoy the time of rest, family, smells (even if not tastes!) and the feeling of successfully staying on track to meet your goals. Food is awesome. Why else would we have a holiday for it?! But it’s brief. Delayed gratification is HARD but it is worth it. 

Cheering for you on the sidelines,

Steph 🙂

Feature courtesy of foodcoach.me